Where You Open Is Where You’re At

I can remember from an early time in my life, I think as a teenager, words just miraculously appeared and without filter I would speak them. Complex sentences that I had no idea where they came from but, unobstructed, poured out. At first, I enjoyed speaking these words and would share to anyone that would listen. I had no idea that these words were for a greater purpose - gifts so to speak. I would even wake from my own voice during sleep. Initially, I had a belief of intellect, but soon realised that I was masquerading as something I was not, and felt a fraud. My internal dialogue was saying things like “Who do you think you are?” and “You have no right to or intelligence to converse with people, especially qualified people in such a way!”. There was a feeling deep within which I regularly ignored; a feeling that I was supposed to help, but believing I was not worthy due to my limited education. I believed I did not possess the intelligence to even venture down the road to become qualified. The result was words stopped flowing and any ambition was parked. My belief was that due to growing up in a government housing suburb, that I wasn’t worthy or intelligent. It wasn’t permitted that I associate with educated people, let alone share my words. So, I set my sights on a life of mediocrity. In saying that my life was good. I had a great job working for the government and I became more confident in my own skin. I had started a beautiful family, bringing into the world two amazing sons, who really changed the way I viewed myself. I had a deep desire to make them proud and lead by example, but the prospect was compressed by self-belief that didn’t exist. Something was still missing. I remember many of times telling my mum, “…one day I’ll make you proud and go to university…”, but of course with life so busy and having no self-belief, no action was pursued. Not until heart break occurred. In 2003 my mum passed away, and my world was rocked to its foundation. My mum had a very difficult life. I was the fourteenth child of her 15 pregnancies, but I have no memory of her complaining. I really didn’t know my mum throughout my early years growing up. We never spoke in much depth, but in the last few years before she passed we developed a beautiful friendship, and I loved with all my heart the woman she was, strong, courageous, resilient, gentle, wise. She didn’t always say much, but she had this “look”, a special gift that allowed you to know what she was feeling or thinking. I think this was one of my greatest lessons, as this significant trauma in my life switched something inside of me, and my promise to my mum had to be fulfilled. I commenced my enquiries to every University, and many of battles were had in the process. I eventually enrolled into a Bachelor of Counselling Degree, and then continued studies, completing my second degree; Bachelor of Social Work. Even though my mum wasn’t there in the physical realm, I felt her watching over me with pride. There was a different belief now. I was academically trained and qualified. I had a greater awareness of why humans, react, respond and feel, but somehow my previous understanding of myself had shifted as well. The science in understanding humanity was paramount, but something was welling inside, and as my skills developed in my practice, my self-love was growing and I was healing deeply within. I could feel the greater lessons, and my words started to again appear. Self-acceptance, love, forgiveness, kindness and gratitude were like the ingredients of this amazing and beautiful, love-filled dish. The more of these ingredients you include in life the greater the flavours enhanced. Once again, I started to share with my family, friends, and selected clients, and I felt my heart open, bursting with love. Initially, I didn’t document what was being presented. Then after a few failed attempts at recording what was being gifted and several technical hiccups resulting in the loss of what had been documented, I made a Facebook Page, “Rodney Painter – Heart of Spirit”, and started sharing my writings for all the world to see. “Where You Open Is Where You’re At - A Universal Guide To Healing”, is a collection of quotes, writings and inspirations that were gifted, intertwined with my own personal experiences and human understanding of science and psychology, and our reactions and responses to these occurrences in our lives. We all have so many experiences that shape us throughout our lives, but the one thing we all have and have equal access is LOVE. It doesn’t matter where you come from; what race, colour, religion, how much you earn or your academic embattlement’s. We enter the world with no material possessions. We are pure love. And we will return to love and take no material possessions with us. When complications exist, or as a preventative, love can be accessed daily from the source, through meditation, prayer or any other way that works for you to get back to the place of raw purity. Stripping back your humanness to the Source, Love is your set point. Fill up your cup with love and glow in your true essence. True, dark days happen, and can be never taken back. Learn and grow and continually visit the Source for cleansing, as all the answers, purpose, happiness, peace, understanding, compassion, gratitude and love lie here. This is your journey. Choose to read “Where You Open Is Where You’re At, A Universal Guide To Healing” from front to back, or open to where ever you’re guided. Close your eyes, turn to a page, and start your day with love, gratitude and an open heart. Be kind, generous and thankful, and you’ll see what an amazing and beautiful existence we all share. With love, thanks, gratitude and heart, your friend Rod xxoo