Too many people have surrendered to the belief that dissatisfaction, neglect, infidelity, abuse, disrespect, conflict, exploitation and betrayal are natural, normal, and unavoidable characteristics of romantic relationships and even marriage. We are presented with a choice: relationships that don’t last and relationships that do, as long as participants are willing to endure inevitable suffering, mistreatment, and victimization, usually at the hands of one another.
Loving in the Grown Zone is a rejection of that thinking. It is testament to the authors’ belief that while there may be no such thing as a perfect relationship, that is not justification for accepting anything less than healthy relationships. No one is required to accept mistreatment as the price of a loving, safe, and sustainable relationship of honor, esteem, and respect. Furthermore, establishing such healthy, resilient, and fulfilling relationships are not a matter of luck or chance, but of intention, learnable skills and practices, and commitment to personal growth. Loving in the Grown Zone urges you to learn those skills and commit to those practices, including recognizing the difference between the attractors that motivate us to initiate romantic relationships and the sustainers required to ensure that such relationships are healthy, safe, and affirming for both partners.