Zentivity

(From the introduction) Are You Ready for the Unexpected? Sandra was leading a fast-paced, synergistic sales meeting. Everyone was involved in the discussion. Goals had been more than met for the year, so they were dreaming big! Hopes and spirits were high. Sandra was a great sales manager: positive, encouraging, enthusiastic, and a stellar example of what is possible when you put your mind to a task and stay focused. She noticed in the back of the room that her assistant was signaling that she had an urgent phone call, so she excused herself, encouraging the brainstorming to continue and assuring the team that she’d be right back. She picked up the phone, not recognizing the number, wondering what could be so important. She stood frozen while the male voice on the other end prattled on endlessly, not making any sense at all. How could this be? Her husband would never do that. “This is crazy,” she said. “You must have the wrong number.” “Is this Sandra Rollins?” he asked. “Yes, and I am really sorry to hear that your wife is having an affair, but I don’t know what that has to do with me.” “Didn’t you get the photos I texted you?” “Of course not, I am in the middle of a meeting. Who is this?” Her head was spinning; it was difficult to switch gears so quickly. And what this guy was saying didn’t make any sense at all. Her husband and this guy’s wife? Having an affair? How could that be? But as she glanced at the texts that she had been ignoring and saw picture after picture of her husband with a young woman, obviously more than just friends, she felt nausea rising in her stomach. “What are you saying?” she demanded of the guy on the other end of the phone. “I am saying that your husband and my wife are having an affair, and I thought you should know. That’s all. It’s been going on for at least a year…” His voice trailed off. She couldn’t focus any more. She. Had. To. Think. She couldn’t breathe. She had to get out of there. Sandra brushed by her shocked assistant, mumbling something about having to take care of something and instructing her to “let Jim wrap up the meeting,” and ran out the door. She tried to call her husband. No answer. Texted him. No response. Called him again and again. She drove home on autopilot, crashed through the door, pushed her dog out of the way, and poured a shot of whiskey to calm her trembling hands. And another, because the first didn’t work. By the time her husband walked through the door that evening, she was almost incoherent. “Why didn’t you answer my calls, you bastard?” she attacked. And so it began. The confrontation, the tears, the denial, the proof, the yelling, the name-calling, and the drinking. They battled for hours until she was so exhausted that she collapsed on the couch and her husband stormed out. The next morning, Sandra was groggy, devastated, and hung over. She looked in the mirror. “I can’t go to work looking like this,” she said, so she called in sick. She dragged her body into bed, where she stayed for the rest of the day. Her kids got themselves ready for school, tip-toeing around whispering, “What’s wrong with Mom?” “I don’t know; hurry, or we’ll miss the bus.” She was still in bed when her kids and husband came home, and the scene from the night before replayed itself. He stormed out; she stayed in bed for three more days, unable to process what was happening and incapable of doing anything about it. The kids figured things out and did what they had to do, but started acting out in school. She put off calls from the office. She knew decisions had to be made about work, but nothing seemed to interest her in the least. One thing led to another. The marriage was in shambles; the kids were frightened and uneasy. The office sales team, who were compassionate at first, became annoyed. And it may not surprise you that Sandra was so shaken up that her productivity level went down, and the company appointed a new sales manager. How did we ever get the idea that our personal lives don’t impact our work? If problems are not tended to up front, they compound and overflow into every area of our lives: our physical health and well-being, our personal relationships and jobs, and ultimately the company’s bottom line. When we apply for a job, we are convinced that we can keep everything separate. Many of our bosses expect that as well. “I can’t be bothered with their personal problems; I have a company to run!” they say. That may be so, but what I have found from talking to business owners whom I know and trust, it seems that we must find ways to help our employees deal with their personal lives in a productive and compassionate way so the company that you “need to run” doesn’t get run into the ground. This is not a book about business strategy or how to write a business plan. It’s not about strategic planning or corporate social responsibility. It’s a book about human frailties and emotions. Whether or not you want to believe it, these things do find their way into the workplace and affect employee happiness and productivity. And workplace stresses find their way into the home, too.