Tales of a Shaman in the Making

CHAPTER 1 So, you are saying that just by being here I’m automatically committing to this for the rest of my life?” Amber asked, showing a look of confusion and urgency on her delicate face as she faced the teacher and the rest of the group. The energy of the space shifted into nervousness as they all faced the teacher, awaiting anxiously for her reply. “It’s not like that,” Simone replied and laughed lightheartedly. She could perceive the concern flooding the eyes of the thirteen women gathered in a circle around her. “Shamanism is the energy medicine of the Americas— the medicine that has healed humans for thousands of years before hospitals and pharmaceuticals even existed. Through the path of shamanism, you will all receive great wisdom. You will remember where your soul came from, what it has gone through, and what your mission is here. You will awaken your psychic powers, intuitive abilities, and connection to the universe around you. As you do that, it will be natural for you to stay in the shamanic path, because it’s very likely you’ll love it.” She spoke politely as she sat cross-legged on the floor near the group altar, which was filled with colorful healing crystals, feathers, and sacred items of all sorts. “I honestly don’t know what I’m getting myself into. I have to admit it makes me really nervous to initiate something I might later regret,” Amber shared with the group with complete vulnerability. The trees around the circle danced alongside the afternoon breeze, and the golden glow of a beautiful Panamanian sunset embraced the whole space. The grass was lush, flowers were abundant, and the smoke of sweet-scented incense filled the air. “I was drawn here with a longing for something— something I can’t even explain. I have lived my life with a burning sensation in my heart the whole time. It feels like I’m missing something. I’ve been waiting for anything or anyone to answer all my questions, waiting to remember something I have forgotten.” A few tears began to flow down Amber’s cheeks. She immediately dried them with her hands. The group looked at her compassionately. Her wavy brown hair covered her shoulders and forehead. Her tiny nose was red, and her big green eyes were filled with tears she clearly didn’t expect. There was beauty in her pain. There was a sincere sense of truth within her that everyone could acknowledge. “I think we need more information about this, Simone. It seems like we are completely unaware of what the commitment is for this journey,” Silvia, one of the thirteen women in the group, politely demanded. Silvia was a dark-skinned beauty in her forties who seemed outgoing and friendly. “Through the following year, you will all embark on spiritual journeys that will expose all your shadows for healing to occur. You and your life as you know it now will be transformed. You will be reborn into a whole new being—one closer to the will of the universe and of God. You will be tested. You will be pushed beyond all your known limits. You will earn the right to develop great power and use it to fulfill your life mission consciously. You will be an instrument for the healing of all living beings. Throughout the year, you will receive tools; you will tap into a source of unlimited power. You will become a shaman,” Simone said with a crooked smile. “How can we know if this path is the right one for us? What if we’re not ready? What if we don’t like it?” Amber asked. “You are here, aren’t you? You are the youngest of the group, Amber. Don’t you think that means something? At this point in your life, you are ready to receive this wisdom. Otherwise, the universe wouldn’t have conspired to bring you here in the first place.” Simone smiled gently with a loving look in her eyes. “Many are called to this path; few will be chosen.” Simone spoke mysteriously again after a few seconds. “Chosen for what?” asked Victoria suspiciously as she accommodated her pixie-like black hair and turned her face to the side, looking doubtful. “You won’t understand until you are indeed chosen,” answered Simone, standing up and abandoning the conversation respectfully. She didn’t seem interested in providing the group with more information. “Let’s take a break, shall we?” Confused gazes were shared among all the students as they realized none of them knew entirely what they were signing up for. They did know it was a yearlong course in which the group would get together at retreats every three months. They would be taught how to perform healing therapies, but they would apparently go through a whole lot more. The group dissolved, but Amber and Victoria remained seated in their spots. “What do you think about this?” Victoria whispered to Amber, seeking comfort in her answer. Victoria felt a little embarrassed to have dragged Amber into something she wasn’t well informed about and that they could regret. Victoria was very thin. She had pale skin and colorful spiritual symbols tattooed all over her arms. Amber seemed way more delicate and feminine. They had met years earlier at a coffee shop where Amber used to write her novels, and they instantly became close friends. “I mean, I don’t know. We are already here. The teacher, Simone, seems nice and sweet. I don’t think we would fall into something sketchy or anything. What do you think?” Amber gazed into the sun fading under the mountains. They were all staying at an old house a few hours from the city. The house was large, and it looked like it had been beautiful a few years back. The walls were painted white, and every exterior corner was adorned with different plants, flowers, hanging trees, and shrubs. It was in a beautiful mountainous area far enough to feel completely secluded. “I mean, you know I would be interested in any kind of spiritual course that comes my way. You, on the other hand…Let’s just say I know how out there this seems for you, and I would totally understand if you wished to leave,” Victoria said in a loving and protecting voice, characteristic of an older sister even though they were just friends. “Just because I haven’t found my thing doesn’t mean I’m not looking.” Amber laughed, but her big green eyes glared at Victoria. “I’ve always been intrigued by spirituality; you know that. I just feel a little bit intimidated by shamanism. I feel like once I remember whatever it is I feel I forgot, nothing will ever be the same, you know?” “No, I don’t.” Victoria laughed. “Does it matter? Let’s just stay, and if it gets too weird, we can just drop out and never come back.” “Fine.” Amber laughed, in awe of how Victoria always seemed to drag her into the most ridiculous scenarios. They spent some moments in silence, enjoying the fresh weather. The night crept in, and it started getting a bit colder. The stars began to appear above the women, who were forming a circle again on the grass. All the women seemed refreshed and relaxed. The moment of tension had passed. “We only have three more days to go, people. We need to continue covering the material. If anyone feels uncomfortable, please feel free to go,” Simone said, inviting them all to reconsider the seriousness of the path they were choosing. “If you choose to leave, please do so before tomorrow’s initiation ritual.”